A Budget
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A Budget Last Updated: Wanna buy a pen?
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Update At So this morning's -18F temps were right down there in the BFC range. I'll leave it to you fine folks who enjoy figuring out acronyms for that one. Those of you who need hints, I'll suggest that you seek an adjective and a noun, coupled with the usual profanity somewhere in there. Yeah, like that. See, our "worst" week of the winter is usually the third week of January - it's when we get the coldest, on average. Of course, there's usually that stretch of a couple of days where the "high" never goes above zero (one year we went for slightly over a week without hitting positive territory - and I was living in an apartment with leaky windows, small children, and some slack-jawed by-product of a brother-and-sister relationship went out of town and turned down his (or her, let's be fair) heat - so low that the pipes froze and burst. Um, hey, Slick? It's an apartment - in this neighborhood, heat is included in your rent, though it's a little tough to regulate). We also can almost always plan on a mid-winter "thaw" - a burp in the weather pattern that tends to get rid of most of the snow. But last night, it was pretty clear - the street drains were steaming under the street lights, and the snow made that peculiar squeak-crunch that you only hear when it's below ten below around here - yes, we listen to the snow. We're not eskimos, but we listen. Of course, this sort of thing typically does not last long. One extreme usually begats, if not the opposite, at least moderation, and so they're predicting mid-thirties for later this week. There goes the "White Christmas" thing. On to other fun. Yesterday I was busily engaged sending out resumes and making - or attempting to make - contact with some folks who may be able to use my particular talent pool. I also slammed together the final draft of the invitation to the annual Blue & Gold party, for February. Yup, February. Why so early? Well, this one falls into either the category of "I could tell you but you'd be bored beyond death" or "no sane person would care". Pick your option. Let's just say that if I want a response by January 21, I need to have them in the hands of the wee children by tomorrow, and to their parents - and back - shortly thereafter. The good news is that we did get a good caterer, good entertainment, and all the rest - so things are truly coming together. This will be fun. On the docket for today are more job searching, some programming for me (yup, getting back to one set of root stems, I suppose - seems there's plenty of opportunities for "developers" and at one time I had some ability to cut code with C++, so I'm going back to the basics with training wheels in Pascal, then moving forward). And since it's a late start day, the kids are still about - and darned noisy. I'd best go defrost the back door so the dog can be let out to pee. That's one thing that's unusual this year - we're not running a humidifier, we're not doing anything unusual, but we're having a tough time opening the sliding glass door. Last year it still had a handle - this year the handle's completely broken off. A replacement handle isn't too cheap - runs about $800, because they come attached to the door, which comes attached to the framing, etc... So I'm trying to engineer something sturdy without too much expense.
[Link] First off, there's today's rather jaw-dropping (on many levels) visit to the Treehouse Company website - man, if I'd only stuck with the business when I was nine or so, look what I could be doing today. Sadly, the site is heavily reliant on Javascript, which I've mostly disabled (paranoid, that's me), so I can't get too deep before I go "oh well". Next, we have clear and obvious evidence that NASA faked the moon landings . I mean, the evidence is incontrovertable. Oy. And lastly, this page which is a collection of images of Frank Lloyd Wright's work - which is mostly personal, because while I like much of what he did, Jack's DI team picked FLW for their DI problem - which I should find out about so I can shut up about it just in case the subject comes up. Oh - the "you probably were going to ask so I'll tell you" part - DI is Destination Imagination, a contest for school kids - they get a problem, form a team, work out a solution, put together a play, and deliver the goods in front of judges. Rhiannon's done it two years running now in Structures (you have to build something to solve a problem), and this year is doing Improv. Jack is now doing structures. Problem Class I was they had to build a pair of machines to throw and catch something. Problem Class II was "we have to make a structure, and have a team name, and ... I don't know what else." Quoth Jack. Go figure.
[Link] But the combination of that and my biweekly late-night church visit led me to the thought - What if God wrote in batch files (like I do?)
@ECHO OFF
CLS
:DAYONE
MD HEAVEN
MD EARTH
COPY GOODS\LIQUID.TXT EARTH\WATER.TXT
:BEGINNING
IF NOT EXIST LIGHT.EXE COPY GOODS\LIGHT.EXE LIGHT.EXE
IF EXIST LIGHT.EXE GOTO :GOOD
GOTO :BEGINNING
:GOOD
REN LIGHT.EXE DAY.EXE
ECHO DAY.EXE /OFF >> NIGHT.BAT
:DAYTWO
COPY GOODS\SOLID.TXT EARTH\LAND.TXT
:DAYTHREE
TYPE GOODS\PLANTS.TXT >> EARTH\LAND.TXT
TYPE GOODS\FRUIT.TXT >> EARTH\LAND.TXT
REM CAREFUL WITH THE APPLE TREE, OK?
TYPE DANGEROUS\APPLE.TXT >> EARTH\LAND.TXT
:DAYFOUR
COPY GOODS\SPARKLES.EXE STARS.EXE
COPY GOODS\HALF-BAKED.EXE MOON.EXE
:DAYFIVE
CALL MULTIPLY.BAT GOODS\BIRDS.TXT
CALL MULTIPLY.BAT GOODS\SEAFOOD.TXT
TYPE GOODS\BIRDS.TXT >> EARTH\LAND.TXT
TYPE GOODS\SEAFOOD.TXT >> EARTH\WATER.TXT
:DAYSIX
TYPE GOODS\CATTLE.TXT >> EARTH\LAND.TXT
REM WATCH THE ONES LABELED "RABBITS" - g
TYPE GOODS\BEASTS.TXT >> EARTH\LAND.TXT
REM Is this (below) a mistake? Are you sure? -- HS
TYPE DANGEROUS\CREEPY.TXT >> EARTH\LAND.TXT
REM CAREFUL WITH THIS NEXT ONE
ECHO DOMINION RULER FOLLOWS >> EARTH\LAND.TXT
TYPE DANGEROUS\MAN.TXT >> EARTH\LAND.TXT
TYPE DANGEROUS\MAN.TXT | FIND /I "RIB" > WOMAN.TXT
REM This is certainly not PC... -- HS
CALL DANGEROUS\BOOBIES.EXE WOMAN.TXT
TYPE WOMAN.TXT >> EARTH\LAND.TXT
REM Now you're in for it - HS
ECHO LISTEN UP, FOOLS >> EARTH\LAND.TXT
TYPE INSTRUCT.TXT >> EARTH\LAND.TXT
:DAYSEVEN
REM TAKE A BREAK, REVIEW. MAYBE GOLF A LITTLE.
PAUSE
:MONITOR
REM MUST KEEP RENEWING EDEN AS LONG AS THEY'RE THERE - IT'S A SPECIAL PLACE
TYPE GOODS\SPECIAL\SPECS.TXT > EARTH\EDEN.TXT
FOR %%A IN GOODS\SPECIAL\IMAGES\*.JPG DO TYPE %%A >> EARTH\EDEN.TXT
TYPE EARTH\EDEN.TXT | FIND /I "ADAM" > ADAMS_WORK.TXT
IF NOT EXIST ADAMS_WORK.TXT GOTO :ADAM2HEAVEN
TYPE ADAMS_WORK.TXT | FIND /I "NAKED" > CHECKUP.TXT
IF EXIST CHECKUP.TXT TYPE EARTH\EDEN.TXT | FIND "EVE" > EVES_WORK.TXT
IF NOT EXIST EVES_WORK.TXT GOTO :EVE2HEAVEN
IF EXIST EVES_WORK.TXT TYPE EVES_WORK.TXT | FIND "SNAKE" > BUSTED.TXT
IF EXIST ADAMS_WORK.TXT DEL ADAMS_WORK.TXT > NUL
IF EXIST EVES_WORK.TXT DEL EVES_WORK.TXT > NUL
IF EXIST CHECKUP.TXT DEL CHECKUP.TXT > NUL
IF EXIST BUSTED.TXT GOTO :EXPEL
TYPE EARTH\EDEN.TXT >> EARTH\ARCHIVE\EDEN.TXT
WAITFOR 23:59:59
GOTO :MONITOR
:ADAMHEAVEN
REM A CHIP OFF THE OLD BLOCK, THAT ONE - IF HE CAN STAY OUT OF TROUBLE
TYPE EARTH\ARCHIVE\EDEN.TXT | FIND /I "ADAM" >> HEAVEN\OCCUPANTS.TXT
GOTO :DOOR
:EVEHEAVEN
REM NOT FREAKING LIKELY
TYPE EARTH\ARCHIVE\EDEN.TXT | FIND /I "ADAM" >> HEAVEN\OCCUPANTS.TXT
GOTO :DOOR
:EXPEL
REM LET'S HOPE WE NEVER HAVE TO USE THIS - NOT AT ALL DEBUGGED
DEL BUSTED.TXT
MD HELL
MD HELL\PURGATORY
MD HELL\1
MD HELL\1\2
MD HELL\1\2\3
MD HELL\1\2\3\4
MD HELL\1\2\3\4\5
MD HELL\1\2\3\4\5\6
MD HELL\1\2\3\4\5\6\7
MD HELL\1\2\3\4\5\6\7\8
MD HELL\1\2\3\4\5\6\7\8\9
MOVE HEAVEN\LUCIFER.TXT HELL\1\2\3\4\5\6\7\8\9
CALL HEAVEN\LUCI_CRONIES_MOVE.BAT HELL\1\2\3\4\5\6\7\8\9
TYPE EARTH\EDEN.TXT | FIND /I "ADAM" >> EARTH\WASTELAND.TXT
TYPE EARTH\EDEN.TXT | FIND /I "EVE" >> EARTH\WASTELAND.TXT
TYPE EARTH\EDEN.TXT | FIND /I /V "ADAM" > ADAM.TXT
TYPE STEP1.TXT | FIND /I /V "EVE" > EVE.TXT
TYPE STEP2.TXT | FIND /I /V "SNAKE" > SNAKE.TXT
TYPE ADAM.TXT >> EARTH\WASTELAND.TXT
TYPE EVE.TXT >> EARTH\WASTELAND.TXT
TYPE SNAKE.TXT >> EARTH\WASTELAND.TXT
DEL EARTH\EDEN.TXT
DEL ADAM.TXT
DEL EVE.TXT
DEL SNAKE.TXT
GOTO :HARDWAY
:HARDWAY
SET DAYS=1092000
TYPE DOCS\OTHER\WHEEL.TXT >> EARTH\WASTELAND.TXT
TYPE DOCS\OTHER\KNOWLEDGE.TXT >> EARTH\WASTELAND.TXT
FOR %%B IN DOCS\TORAH\*.TXT TYPE %%B >> EARTH\WASTELAND.TXT
TYPE DOCS\PROPHECY\BASICS.TXT >> EARTH\WASTELAND.TXT
TYPE DOCS\SEX_FOR_DUMMIES.TXT >> EARTH\WASTELAND.TXT
TYPE DOCS\SOLARSYSTEM\PLANETS.TXT >> GENERAL_UNIVERSE.TXT
TYPE DOCS\UNIVERSE\ALL_THE_REST.TXT >> GENERAL_UNIVERSE.TXT
TYPE DOCS\HHGTTG\42.TXT >> EARTH\WASTELAND.TXT
TYPE DOCS\SHAKESPEARE\FICTION_PLOTS.TXT >> EARTH\WASTELAND.TXT
TYPE DANGEROUS\NUTBALLS.TXT >> EARTH\WASTELAND.TXT
TYPE DANGEROUS\PREDATORS.TXT >> EARTH\WASTELAND.TXT
TYPE DANGEROUS\TEMPTATIONS.TXT >> EARTH\WASTELAND.TXT
TYPE DANGEROUS\EVIL.TXT >> EARTH\WASTELAND.TXT
TYPE DANGEROUS\CONSPIRACY_THEORIES.TXT >> EARTH\WASTELAND.TXT
REM PART OF THE DEAL I MADE TO GET LUCI TO LEAVE
IF EXIST HELL\1\2\3\4\5\6\7\8\9\DANGEROUS\WINDOWS\SOURCE_CODE.TXT TYPE
HELL\1\2\3\4\5\6\7\8\9\DANGEROUS\WINDOWS\SOURCE_CODE.TXT >> EARTH\WASTELAND.TXT
REM ADDED 1-1-1900 BY g - BECAUSE THEY'RE GONNA NEED IT
TYPE DOCS\VMS\SOURCE_CODE.TXT >> EARTH\WASTELAND.TXT
REM ADDED 1-1-1950 BY g - BECAUSE THEY'RE REALLY GONNA NEED IT
TYPE DOCS\COOL\INTERNET.TXT >> EARTH\WASTELAND.TXT
:WATCHEM
TYPE EARTH\WASTELAND.TXT | FIND "ENLIGHTENMENT" > NOT_BLOODY_LIKELY.TXT
IF EXIST NOT_BLOODY_LIKELY.TXT ECHO ^G^G^G^G^G SOMEONE FIGURED IT OUT ^G^G^G^G^G
IF EXIST NOT_BLOODY_LIKELY.TXT ECHO ^G^G^G^G^G SOMEONE FIGURED IT OUT ^G^G^G^G^G
IF EXIST NOT_BLOODY_LIKELY.TXT ECHO ^G^G^G^G^G SOMEONE FIGURED IT OUT ^G^G^G^G^G
IF EXIST NOT_BLOODY_LIKELY.TXT ECHO ^G^G^G^G^G SOMEONE FIGURED IT OUT ^G^G^G^G^G
IF EXIST NOT_BLOODY_LIKELY.TXT ECHO ^G^G^G^G^G SOMEONE FIGURED IT OUT ^G^G^G^G^G
IF EXIST NOT_BLOODY_LIKELY.TXT GOTO :FATGATE
DOMATH %DAYS% MINUS 1
WAITFOR 23:59:59
IF %DAYS%!==0! GOTO :NEWSTART
GOTO :WATCHEM
:FATGATE
REM JUST IN CASE SOMEONE GETS IT EARLY
TYPE EARTH\WASTELAND.TXT | FIND /I "SOULS" >> HEAVEN\OCCUPANTS.TXT
GOTO :ARMAGEDDON
:NEWSTART
TYPE SPECIAL\SON.TXT >> EARTH\WASTELAND.TXT
RANDOM >> SET_DAYS.BAT
CALL SET_DAYS
SET WAIT=%RANDOM_DAYS%
:WAITINGIS
TYPE EARTH\WASTELAND.TXT | FIND /I "DEAD" | FIND /i "SAVED" >> HEAVEN\OCCUPANTS.TXT
TYPE EARTH\WASTELAND.TXT | FIND /i "DEAD" >> HELL\PURGATORY\OCCUPANTS.TXT
IF %NAME% IN HEAVEN\OCCUPANTS.TXT CALL REMOVE.BAT %NAME% HELL\PURGATORY\OCCUPANTS.TXT
DOMATH %WAIT% MINUS 1
WAITFOR 23:59:59
GOTO :WAITINGIS
:ARMAGEDDON
FORMAT C:
:DOOR
ECHO DONE. PRESS ANY KEY TO END SIMULATION...
PAUSE > NUL
EXIT
I dunno. I thought it was funny - and for the record, I had every utility noted above. Light.exe was a trick file that cycled the keyboard lights. Light /off was the command to end it (it was a little TSR program back when they were called TSRs and not "viruses" - of course, cycling your keyboard lights was merely annoying - not dangerous). DOMATH I wrote myself to be able to increment variables in batch files (no, it hasn't run since I left Windows 3.11), Waitfor and Random were both programs I wrote using the system clock (Random used it as a seed, while Waitfor simply displayed a full-screen message that waited for the time, then ended - I used it to reboot my computer nightly - it would wait for midnight, reboot, and in doing so, reset the day/date variables. Sneaky, no? All in the good old days where you were first and foremost an island, not a network, when it came to a computer). Speaking of long-lost utilities, I still miss my favorite - SuperKey. Another great Borland product (of an age to be a companion to Sidekick - remember that?), and intensely more usable. Superkey was a keyboard macro program for EVERY program. I simply recorded keystrokes, then assigned them to key combinations, and viola - instant productivity. I remember the most complex macro I ever recorded. I was young, foolish, and attempting to prove to a stats prof that computers could - if properly programmed - randomly generate a full bell curve. I built a Lotus spreadsheet to generate five random numbers between one and twenty, and then added them up. It did this 40 times per "run" and then counted the quantity of each - how many 5s, 6s, etc - all the way up to 20. The theory was that I would get a bell curve, just as you would expect (my first try, at generating 3d6, was rejected by the prof because he felt a range of just fifteen digits was too small for a proper bell curve). I produced a sample of 100, 1000, 10,000, and 100,000 runs. The first three were easy - just update the spreadsheet, copy the results (converting from formula to the number in the process), count up the number of matches, and then display the graph. On my father's 8086-based PC, this process - manually - took about two minutes per "run". Using Superkey I got it down to under ten seconds (hit the space bar in a specific cell, then hit enter to cause the page to update, copy the range of cells with the numbers in, change to the second page of the workbook, paste as values the numbers, sort by number, copy, change to the third page, paste, update the graph, then switch back to the first page of the workbook). When I got to the bigger run, I simply made a workbook with 10,000 totals in it, and made nine more. Once THAT was done, I printed the grand totals from EACH workbook, and then RE-Typed them (there being no linking (yet) between multiple workbooks). Fortunately I only needed to type 95 numbers from each of ten sheets - 950 total - to get my final result. This took about a week to do. When I finished it, I took the final results into the prof. I put them on his desk, he looked at them, and said "Oh. I was talking about a REAL computer, not one you use on your desk." So I got a job in Academic Computing, helping to run the Vax. I never repeated the experiment, though.
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Update At Let's step back and clarify a little. I'm not exactly certain of CNN's definition of "megachurch" but I think I'd be safe in saying that it's a church that at a minimum seats several thousands of people at a time (our parish church, by contrast, seats probably 1200 people when they open up the Parish Center/School Lunch Room for seating as they do on Christmas. Now, if we had Christmas in WARM weather, we may get another two hundred or so in the building because there'd be fewer coats and less heavy-weather gear). Given the picture at the head of the article, I'm gonna go way out on a limb and guess that a Megachurch seats perhaps 3-5000, possibly more. Okay. So that's a Megachurch. I've always wanted to know what to call those sorts of things. Now, let us move on - to the concept at hand. Some of these Megachurches are closing because they're not comfortable asking people to help with Christmas Services. I get a kick out of the information they attribute to one Cally Parkinson in this paragraph
Cally Parkinson, a spokeswoman for Willow Creek Community Church in South Barrington, Illinois, said church leaders decided that organizing services on a Christmas Sunday would not be the most effective use of staff and volunteer resources. Erm. Let's see if we have this straight. On the second-holiest day of the Christian Calendar, you're saying that your staff and volunteers would rather not spend an hour or two getting the place ready for, and having services for, that day? Just because it's also a Sunday, when you're SUPPOSED to be in church? Oy freaking vey. Us Roman Catlicks, we're pretty happy this year - we've got a two-fer. We go to church on Christmas Day, which is ALSO A SUNDAY! They don't often work out like that (about one year in seven or so, give or take a bit), but good grief - that's a light week. I guess I don't understand the whole "evangelical" idea. Saying "sorry, I'd rather not" to church services on Christmas is just about like sending out "Happy Holiday" cards. If you're going to commit, then commit, and open the doors. I'm reminded of the old joke about the young parish priest who came out of the sacristy (the room where the priest gets ready for services) for Sunday mass during a blizzard only to find one person in the pews. "What should I do?" asks the priest of the old farmer. "Well, when I call the herd and only one cow comes, I sure do feed 'em" replied the farmer. So the priest did the full ceremony, full sermon, and put all the bells and whistles to use. At the end of mass, he greeted his only attendee at the back with the words "how'd I do?" The farmer paused for a moment, scratched his head, and said "well, when I call the herd and only one cow comes, I sure as hell don't give him the feed load for the entire herd."
[Link] Random Bits... I would give a large selection of non-essential organs for tickets to this particular event. I never got the chance to see Queen when they were touring with Freddie - and while Paul Rogers is no Freddie Mercury, there is no one else out there like Brian May. And in the "I am an art philistine" department we have this little gem, wherein an enterprising individual of some skill disassembled a shed, built himself a boat, went boating, then reassembled the shed - and some individuals have determined that this is "art". I've long had great respect for craftsmanship - skills that are required to convert something from one purpose to another and back again are fairly rare (unless it's a balloon, a trashbag, a balloon sort of thing), but there's some work involved. Is it "art"? I guess I'll sling the JP Stevens Quote - "I'm not sure how to describe it, but I know it when I see it."
[Link] It's a weird time of year, but after having lived through September 11th, I think I have some small understanding of what my father and others went through. My father, who was a freshman in college, just finishing up his first semester, at the end of 1941, was most definitely 4F. However, I remember overhearing him tell someone else that when it happened, a number of his classmates immediately left school to enlist - as did some of the monks. Some of that happened in 2001, but not on the scale of 1941. And, in hindsight, the attacks of 1941 were much more clearly understandable than those of 2001. Either way, the bottom line is that neither attack was forgivable. We cleaned up the problems of 1941, and helped Japan become a peaceful ally rather than an armed adversary. The enemies of 2001 are still lurking in the hills and valleys of the middle east - and other places - and we may never conquer them completely.
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Update At
And in the end These were the final words on the final album recorded by the Beatles. Let It Be (which was recorded as "Get Back" - ironically meaning getting back to basics) was released later, but as many know Abbey Road was recorded last. I use the word "ironically" because Phil Specter, the producer of Let It Be, overdubbed the entire thing with what had become his "trademark" "wall of sound" - horns, choirs, orchestras layering and in some cases overwhelming the music. Let It Be - Naked isn't a "better" album - simply a different album. I've got both. They're an interesting contrast.
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Update At Today? Nothing much. I think. Er, hope. Especially since we overslept for the second Friday in a row...
[Link] So instead I shall prepare for the forthcoming "going forth to the Wife's Office Christmas Party" event. My wife, I'm sure, is puzzled beyond words at my shortness of conversation when she calls to tell me how fun it is for her to show up to work and get a mimosa. She's forgotten that, at present, I'd be happy to show up anywhere for a kick in the pants, just because it would mean I had a job - but I'm sure there's a light at the end of this tunnel that's worthy. Anyway, tonight's production consists of hopping a "party bus" about ten miles or so from home, heading downtown for dinner at Tiburon (wherein I've reserved "Jerk Chicken" which I hope is either extremely spicy or extremely boneless. If neither, I'm going to be having a ... stop later at McDonalds, truth be told). Then we'll pack back up, head across a corner of downtown and catch "Arsenic and Old Lace" at some theater or other. Back to the car, back home (via a stop, one hopes not), and then we relax. And as the kids are on a sleepover, who knows?
[Link] Should you ever need SWAT Hand Signals it's probably too late to check this site.
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Update At Fortunately for the half-a-chicken they served me (they used it to camoflage the mixed vegetables hiding underneath) was neither spicy nor boneless - and the knife they made sure to give me ahead of time was more Bowie than table knife. Fortunately, I had better bad examples present, and so behaved myself. The production of Arsenic and Old Lace at Theater in the Round was great. Yes, I'm deliberately using small words, because I'm not going to turn drama critic (if you remember the play, you can snigger now). I was, however, tossed back twenty or more years to the semester I spent making $100 a month reviewing plays for my classmates, who paid $25 a paper. It was beer money, so that worked well. However, I was reminded of only two plays I absolutely hated. The first was one called "Major Barbara" and was done at the college (unfortunately, by the wife of the fellow who was teaching the "theater appreciation" class). The play itself was marginal, but it seemed to me the characters would break character every so often, hop up on soapboxes, and espouse some whack-job theory of something or other. The other right royal stinker (I used that phrase in my paper - as is my right. They got B papers (Once in a while I overshot and gave them A's), but I kept most of the A work for me) was something called "Tracker's Tal" or some similar rubbish by a fellow who has since gone on to greater things - Ridley Scott. TT was some hackneyed chimpanzee snot about your typical future post-apocalyptic civilization attempting to right itself. I was so stupified by it that I "admitted" in one of the papers that the writer fell asleep halfway through the second act. The teacher concurred with the assessment (though I think the sleep-inducing effects of a case of beer on the supposed writer were more likely the root cause of his sleep than the play), which I found disturbing. Then again, we bought one book and plunked down $100 for tickets and bus rides (four trips to the Twin Cities, two trips to St. Cloud State, and three wanders through our own hallowed Benedicta Arts Center) so I shouldn't complain. Anyway, the production was good - the theater-in-the-round concept was, and is, a difficult one for performers. These people had an audience all around them - perhaps three hundred in a house of maybe four hundred seats, if that - but they did a good try. If you haven't had the pleasure of seeing the story, I'd recommend the version with Cary Grant. Last night's was pretty good. Of course, with the chicken sitting lightly on my stomach, and Ann having missed dessert (she ordered a pink squirrel, but we were rushed out the door before it was delivered), we stopped at Perkins on the way home. Today was a fair amount of ... well, what I'd call "unfun". We went to see my parents for my mom's birthday. And if the combination of greedy bastards shoehorning half-million-dollar houses on postage-stamp lots wasn't depressing enough, there was the condition of my parents to contend with. Bottom line is that no one is ever going to convince my parents they need to move from that home into one where they can get help - they won't admit it. And I feel like a jerk for not forcing them, but there's the other side of the coin - knowing that if I was the one responsible for their removal, I'd hate myself for the rest of my life. So instead I'll be expecting a phone call in the middle of the night from the fire department, who will find the house fully engulfed from some stupid pile of papers that slid onto the stove that mom forgot to turn off or something horrific like that. There's not much you can do. My parents stood back and let me learn from my mistakes. I never knew it was this hard.
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Update At Of course, when the pastor tells you to sit down for the announcements, you (if you're me) have that standard reaction of "well, this is gonna be long and there's probably gonna be some nasty surprise somewhere in the middle." Nope - the nasty surprise was third on the list, and was a well-cushioned blow. We learned our newly-minted priest (he came out of seminary ordination just six months ago and still hadn't lost that new-priest smell) is headed to be "parochial administrator" at two parishes about an hour away - they've been waiting for a priest for two months now, and this guy isn't getting the title "pastor" because, well, they want the ears to at least dry out before they hang the title of "pastor" on 'em. This guy will be trouble, because if, like I have, you run into him in Target when he's in mufti (in this case, an old gym tee and workout shorts, last August), you're certain he's at most a high school senior. Might help with some, hurt with others. So it goes. Of course, there's the good news - his departure is the same weekend as my Blue & Gold dinner - yikes. This could be problematic. We'll find a way to survive. After church, we made the trip to the auto parts store, wherein we acquired (for nearly $300) a newly rebuilt premium alternator with lifetime warranty (they'll replace it free - works for me), along with three wiper blades. Get this - Ford, in their infinite wisdom, decided my minivan has to have THREE DIFFERENT SIZE wiper blades. Good grief. We then came home, changed, ate lunch, and decided that, since the van had been so cooperative, I'd do it tomorrow. So we headed to the grocery store. We didn't get a mile and the damned battery light came back on - so I turned back to home and let Ann take the kids and the car while I went to work under the hood. I removed the five bolts holding the old alternator in, and then discovered that the three easy-to-move pulleys were NOT the spring-tensioned ones, and it was, instead, the damned wheel down where I couldn't really get to it easily. Go figure. So I called my mechanic buddy for tips, and he'll be over in the morning. We're about ten minutes away from done, he figures. So do I. Which will be nice, as it's darned cold out. So all in all that was another weekend into the tank.
[Link] I'm not sure whether to await the arrival of the builders in hell, or laud their path to heaven. Either way, it's a little creepy.
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